Define Hypersexuality: A Trauma-Informed Explanation

What is hypersexuality, really?

When you Google “define hypersexuality,” the answers can be clinical, shaming, or oversimplified. At Wanted It Group, we believe it’s time for a more compassionate and nuanced explanation - one that honours real-life experiences and reflects the truth behind the urges.

What Is Hypersexuality?

Hypersexuality refers to an excessive preoccupation with sexual thoughts, urges, or behaviours that may feel difficult, or even impossible, to control. While it’s sometimes described as “sex addiction” or “compulsive sexual behaviour,” these labels often miss the mark, especially when they ignore the underlying causes.

Importantly, hypersexuality is not the same as having a high sex drive. Many people enjoy frequent sex and think about it often - but that doesn’t mean they’re hypersexual. Hypersexuality typically causes distress, disruption, or danger in someone’s life, such as risky behaviour, shame, or disconnection from self and others.

A Trauma-Informed Perspective

At Wanted It Group, we approach hypersexuality through a trauma-informed lens. For many people, hypersexual behaviours don’t arise in a vacuum - they are a response to past trauma, emotional neglect, sexual violence, or unmet needs for safety, validation, and connection.

When you define hypersexuality only as a disorder, you miss the full story. When you explore it as a coping mechanism or a survival strategy, healing becomes possible.

Common Signs of Hypersexuality

Wondering if you, or someone you support, might be experiencing hypersexuality? Here are some common indicators:

Feeling compelled to engage in sexual behaviours even when you don’t want to
Using sex or sexual fantasies to numb or avoid emotional pain
Struggling with shame, regret, or confusion after sexual encounters
Prioritising sex over other responsibilities or relationships
Feeling out of control, or like you’re “chasing a high” that never really satisfies
Engaging in risky or unsafe sex despite wanting to stop

Causes of Hypersexuality

While mainstream definitions may mention mental health conditions like bipolar disorder or OCD, they often overlook a key factor: trauma.

Many survivors of:

Sexual abuse or assault
Domestic violence
Childhood neglect
Homelessness or systemic marginalisation

…may develop hypersexual patterns as a way to regulate emotions, reclaim power, or seek comfort. This doesn’t make those behaviours “bad” - it means they deserve understanding and care.

How to Get Support

If you resonate with this, know that you're not alone, and you’re not broken.

At Wanted It Group, we support people navigating hypersexuality through:

Workshops on healthy relationships and redirection strategies
Creative, non-judgemental spaces like pottery clubs, erotic book clubs, and journaling circles
Trauma-informed education for professionals, schools, and health services
A future app, designed to track urges, offer grounding tools, and celebrate progress

Whether you want to understand yourself better, reduce harm, or safely channel your urges, we’re here to walk beside you.

Explore WIG

TL;DR: Define Hypersexuality

Hypersexuality is a pattern of overwhelming sexual urges, thoughts, or behaviours that often come from a place of pain or past trauma - not from being “too sexual” or “out of control.” It’s not a moral failure. It’s a signal that something deeper needs attention, care, and support.

You deserve healing, not shame.