Professionals
If you are supporting someone who is showing signs of hypersexuality – or you're not sure if they are – you can talk to us. Our team can offer consultation and guidance to support.
When someone experiences trauma, such as sexual abuse or assault, it can have profound and long-lasting effects on their mental and emotional well-being.
Hypersexuality is one way in which some individuals may respond to such trauma, often as a means of coping or regaining a sense of control. Supporting someone with hypersexual behaviours requires understanding, patience, and empathy from friends, family, and professionals like therapists and counsellors.
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Many people find it challenging to help someone dealing with the trauma of sexual abuse, leading to feelings of frustration and helplessness. This can inadvertently add to the survivor's distress, contributing to feelings of guilt and confusion. It’s crucial to approach these situations with sensitivity and an open mind, allowing the individual to express their emotions without fear of judgement or dismissal.
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People respond to trauma in unique ways, experiencing a range of emotions such as anger, fear, confusion, and guilt. These emotions can fluctuate rapidly, and it's important for survivors to feel safe expressing them. The key is to provide support that respects their pace and autonomy, allowing them to rebuild their lives and regain control over their journey to recovery.
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The following list of Do’s and Don’ts offers guidance on how to support someone with hypersexual behaviours stemming from trauma. Your role as a supporter is crucial, and understanding how best to help can make a significant difference in the survivor's healing process. Remember, it's also important for you to seek support to ensure you can continue providing effective help.
Do Listen Actively:​​​
Listen to the client without interrupting. Show that you understand by nodding and using affirming language.
Do Show Empathy
Express understanding and compassion for the client’s experiences and feelings. Acknowledge their emotions and challenges.
Do Maintain Confidentiality:
Assure clients that their information is kept confidential, fostering a safe environment for open discussion. However, always follow your safeguarding policy.
Do Provide Education:
Offer information on hypersexuality, its potential causes, and healthy coping mechanisms. Help clients understand their behaviours without judgement. Ensure they have the tools and knowledge to participate in healthy sexual practices.
Do Encourage Healthy Coping Strategies:
Suggest alternative ways to manage urges, such as exercise, mindfulness, or creative expression. If they are participating in risk-taking behaviours, ensure they understand these risks without judgement, and encourage healthy sexual practice.
Do Create a Safe Space:
Ensure that your environment is welcoming, inclusive, and non-judgemental. Talk about previous taboo topics in a way that makes everyone feel comfortable to discuss.
Do Encourage Professional Help:
Recommend seeing a therapist or counsellor specialising in sexual trauma and/or hypersexuality if appropriate. Research and signpost: you can also email us for consultations.
Do Respect Boundaries:
Be sensitive to your client's comfort levels and personal boundaries. Allow them to lead discussions about their experiences - try not to ask questions that are not relevant.
Do Focus on Strengths:
Highlight the client’s strengths and resilience. Encourage positive self-perception and growth. Hypersexuality is a deeply personal experience, sharing anything about these thoughts, feelings or behaviours shows incredible courage.
Do Tailor Support to Individual Needs:
Recognise that each client is unique, and adapt your approach to suit their specific circumstances and preferences. Not all people experiencing hypersexuality are having sex.